ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
