Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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