If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We smell like vodka and hangover
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