Dual....:-)
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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