She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
