Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
