what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
