I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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