His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
