Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
time to smoke my breakfast
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
