we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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