You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
