Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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