bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
