p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
