I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
