He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
