I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
