i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
