I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
