Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
