For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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