My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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