eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
