I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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