I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
