I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
