Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
