I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
