it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You can't special order awesome
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
