he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
