I think scott just propositioned me for sex
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
