Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
