So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
