Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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