Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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