No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
if only i could text you this smell
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
