Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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