names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
