You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
what day is it and did you see me today?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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