i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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