So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
