Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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