Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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