I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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