OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
wow bdsm is so cute
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
