everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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