i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
