HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
