Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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