He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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